"The Subtle Art of ......

Not Giving a F*ck"  by Mark Manson.  Read in about a day, I rarely pick up a book and am instantly absorbed until it's completed.  I happen to resonate with the key focus and discovered I already live my life along these terms; Fine tuning as I get older and wiser.  More importantly, reflecting on how I once was compared to now.

Here it goes: Why would a book with such a name have a place in our current culture and why would anyone actually care? It is, of course, a best seller.  Maybe the words in this book are exactly what society needs to hear at this exact time on earth. 

When we die, all the junk we worried about, all the perceptions of who we think we are supposed to be, the expectations, the stuff of drama and the useless emotions die with us. 

Why waste our life in highs and lows that are meaningless if we are not truly, honestly fulfilled?

Picking and choosing what we care about, those things that truly move us from deep within, is vital in how we grow as humans. 

For example, it is really easy to get pissed off at the person driving 30 miles an hour when all we want is to hurry up and get to our next destination.  Maybe we will tailgate for a few miles or drive around the slow poke slowly while giving him or her the stink eye, cursing them under our breathe.  If we are having a particularly shitty day, we'll honk at the asshole. How dare this person interfere with our commute?  This happens all time in New York. I know. I lived there.  The struggle is real.

Why do we care so much? That person's driving speed has absolutely nothing to do with us and driving around the car calmly, without attachment, makes life easy and anger free.  Why do we invite negativity into our lives?

It is easy to let the little things eat away at our calm resolve, but if we don't give a flying F*ck, there is no impact on our day. 

Driving is an easy example we can all relate to.  Let's try something different, something bigger.  A larger more complicated problem.  Because we all have problems.  But do we have good problems or bad problems?  (I stole that from the book)

My biggest problem in any given day is what to make for dinner. (relatable right?)  I dread it. And although I'm a really good cook, I don't like cooking, after a long work day, for FOUR picky kids.  So, I dumb down my cooking skills and compromise in order to satisfy them all. This is what I'd call a good problem with layers of complexity.   It's a good problem because we can afford food, we have a home to cook it in and we have choices on what to eat.  Many people do not.  I am thankful for my good problem. But, at the core of my problem, I do not want to disappoint my teenagers with food they won't eat.  It makes me uncomfortable and no one likes to feel uncomfortable. I reluctantly make choices to avoid those feelings. I choose to cook unhealthy meals or often I choose not to cook at all. Each day I strive to conquer this dilemma and dissolved it into nothingness. For example, today I cooked and it was good enough to get compliments without reaching too far outside of the cooking creativity box while still being a balanced meal.  Not all days are this good, but can they be?

Now think about what you consider a problem or conflict in your life.   Is it good or bad and can it be solved easily by giving less of a F*cK about it?  How important is this problem and if it gets solved will a new, better problem magically appear?

What's at the core? The term "Don't sweat the small stuff" is keen advice.  Allowing our emotions to settle with less care on an outcome often reveals a "huge" drama filled problem isn't actually a problem at all.  Real life struggles change drastically when we change our position.  Think about the problem as if it was someone else's and take action to correct it without the emotional investment. And remember, you can't change another persons feelings or perspective, but you can change your own feelings about the situation.  Give less of a F*Ck about their complaints, negative view, unreasonable expectations, and judgments and soon they fall to the background of your life.

Now there is also an entire chapter or paragraph on indifference.  That's truly way worse.  You have to have feelings and opinions.  Indifference is caring too much about what everyone else feels and thinks so you don't take a stance out of fear that your perspective will be rejected.  Social insecurity anyone? (Been there - don't care)

Crazy how that all comes full circle.  I'm not going to summarize the entire book, or pretend like I did it justice.

I am going to end this mediocre blog with this: We all will suffer, and will be forced to cope with life struggles.  If we can not stop the suffering, let's think about for what purpose are we suffering? 

(I'm sure I stole that too)

Life is short, let's choose our battles wisely, and not let anyone else's thoughts and opinions  interfere with our own true journey. 

                              "We are only as relevant as we choose to be; choose well." LN

Living Life Laughing

laugh

[laf]

VERB

1. make the spontaneous sounds and movements of the face and body that are the instinctive expressions of lively amusement and sometimes also of contempt or derision:

   "she couldn't help laughing at his jokes" ·
   

   [more]

   
   

   "he laughed out loud" · "she laughed, “Not a chance.”"

   synonyms: chuckle · chortle · guffaw · cackle · giggle · titter · twitter · snigger ·
   

   [more]

When you find something so funny and you laugh from the bottom of your gut to the smile on your face.  And the entire time you are thinking I haven't felt this good in a long time.  I want more.  That energy is magnificent.  It is raw and pure and sincere.

Think about the last time you laughed, so hard.  Or the last time you made someone else laugh hard. 

Serious 'grown up' mode is important and there is a place for it.  But why are some of us laughing less? The laughter is far and few in between.  Have we forgotten how to be lighthearted? Let's shift the energy to something less serious.

I can make my boys giggle with sarcasm.  Teasing them goes a long way.   And any reference to poop, boogers, bugs and farts gets them started in a fit of sillies.  I watch and learn when each of my boys finds something so hysterically funny that they laugh uncontrollably.  They each absorb their own world a little differently, but always find that happy, light place.  This is why their loving aunt sends large Poop Emoji pillows in the mail for them on Christmas. This is what happens when you shout you want 'POOP' for Christmas!   Poop is Funny.  We love our poop pillows!

Happy Translates to Love. 

More Laughter, More Happiness, More Love.

less laughter, less happiness, less love.

 Healthy Life Balance = A Nourished Soul

Ty likes to tell this joke.  It's simple, but the first time he told it, everyone laughed.

What do you call a camel with three humps???

(insert 5 year old voice and mischievous smile)

PREGNANT!

And than he made up where he heard it from.  Kids keep us light and open to new things.

John and I recently went for a couples massage as a belated B-day gift for me.  I was willing to skip it, but being the good husband he is, he made sure we followed through on our original Birthday plans.  I told him we had to go as a couple, that I would not get a massage without him. I had never done a couples massage before.  He was reluctant, he admitted he only had 2 massages in his life and both were with a 'dude.'  "I always gets a 'Dude!"  I assured him that would not be the case.  Of course he'd get a woman.  And worse case, I'd take 'The Dude'  We booked our appointment after carefully reading over the list of services and I waited in the main lobby for John to finalize the details.  John walks over to me, looks me in the eyes and states very matter of fact, "I got the "Dude."  The only one available to do a 'Deep Tissue'.  Life has a funny way of crashing the funny right down on us. 

As we lay on our massages tables together, waiting for our masseuses, we laughed wholeheartedly. 

What if......

What if.....

These are there words that defined the last few days of my life. 

"What if Hurricane Matthew took away my family while I am helpless in Vegas?"

"What if I never hug and kiss my boys again?"

"What if my entire neigborhood is destroyed and I have nothing to go home to?"

Powerful thoughts. Powerful words.

These words overcame me and I sat in my opening sessions and cried, silently wiping my tears, trying to compose myself and recover to get through the day.

I tortured myself with guilt and forced myself to think rational thoughts. It was difficult.  I never actually lived through a hurricane of any consequence.  My mind drifted to Sandy and Katrina; images from the news of destruction and death. This was my frame of reference for a hurricane of this magnitude and predictions were a direct Category 4 hit.  I was overcome with emotions I could not control, I choose to process them and understand the whys later.

My feelings of despair slowly healed as the hurricane ran its course and I learned my family was unharmed.  I could breath.  I relaxed.  I felt better, but I still had work to do.  I had a purpose.

Those same two words, "What if" were given to us over and over in a marketing campaign for Rodan + Fields.  It was no coincidence.  As powerful as my hurricane "What ifs"  tore me apart, the "What ifs" of R+F built me up and helped me realize my future.

"What if I have what it takes to build a team of powerful women?"

"What if I could changes lives I care about?"

"What if I came back to convention 2017 with my own team of consultants?"

"What if I could surpass all my wildest dreams?"

"What if I helped others achieve their dreams?"

"What if my passion to serve was a fulltime commitment?"

"What if?"

I sat in the rest of my sessions and paid close, thoughtful attention.  The last session was on compensation.  My missing piece was to understand the income structure.  I am a numbers girl and it clicked.

Being a Rodan + Fields consutlsnt is similar to being a realtor.  You may know a lot of us, but there is only one you are going to trust to do business with. Either as a Business Partner or to provide your ideal skin care regimen.

We love our skin and Rodan + Fields consutlants love their skin care products.
Proof is at convention.  I have never seen so many women in one place with such beautful skin!! Fifteen thousand women have a secret they are dying to share.

These clinically proven products work. But, don't take my word for it, find someone using Rodan + Fields and look at their skin.  Flawless ... age defying, simply beautiful. 

So, here I am, thinking "What if".... What if my secret was no longer a secret? 

And I wiped my tears and stood up straight and made a conscious choice.  My journey is real.  My dreams are attainable and I may actually be ready to be a badass R+F girl. 

Mind * Body * Spirit

Finding our Balance in life can be instanteous or a life long quest.  Why do some people always seem to have it all together while others tend to struggle?

We all have occasional bad days, but when do those bad days snowball into a bad life?  Everything feels wrong, from our job, to our annoying children to weight gain and feeling as if life is just one big waste of time.  Have you ever felt this way?

And than something shifts, a switch is flipped, and the veil of hopelessness is lifted, perspective is forever changed. 

Life becomes abundant and fulfilled. I believe hard or sad times in life elevate our soul to the next best thing.  It releases the fear of the unknown and catapults us to our next energy vibration.

Ever meet someone who seems so unhappy, their energy is low?  While other people are smiling so bright, not one thing could ruin their perfect day; their energy is high and untouchable. 

Our energy is key to maintaining a prosperous, happy, well intentioned life. There are tools presented in life to keep our energy high and alive.  Giving us exactly what we need at exactly the right time.

"High On Life is not a cliche, it is real!" -LN

Excersice, eating healthy, postive thinking, positive words all contribute to stress realise (real ease) and ultimatley this will bring joy and provide a state of true well being.

Check yourself: Are you smiling? Are your words positive? Do you feel good? Are you truly happy? Is your life stable? My new favorite life backing tool is Yoga, Specfically Aerial Yoga.  I recently introduced Aerial yoga into my life and I really wish I trusted my insincts to try it sooner.  

I have always been a big advocate of yoga practice after reading a book about yoga in my 20s.  I have practiced on and off for the last 20 years. The breathing, the mindful connection to our bodies, the mediation that couples the practice, is all part of a true spiritual awakening. It feels good. It personally gives me focus and keeps my energy happy and light. My intuition is better, I get better ideas when I practice and I have no anxieties.

Aerial Yoga has given me more.  It has pushed my limits, allowed increased blood flow to my brain, and the workout on my entire body is the best in all my yoga experiences. Each class is a journey.  My yoga instructor is one of the kindest people I know, and she knows her practice well. To all my local readers, she is at Kula Yoga Studio at the Port Orange Pavillion. Her class is unique and perfect for beginners or seasoned practitioners.

If Yoga is not your thing, take 15 minutes a day, anywhere, and think to yourself, my life is worthy.  Be kind to your spirit and in turn the universe will replenish your life with whatever you need to feel whole.

If a situation or person is no longer serving your life, it will fall away and new opportunities will present themselves. 

Your life will unfold flawlessly, if you allow it. -LN

If you are stuck in a difficult space, this too will pass and you will be stronger and happier. 

Embrace the now, be it good or bad.  You will flourish graciously.

Letting It Go

I participated in a live, sing-a-long, twist on the popular "Frozen" movie at Hollywood Studios recently.  It reminded me why the movie's popular "Let It Go" theme song was wildly successfully. 

Don't we all need a little reminder to "Let It Go"? Isn't it the best advice anybody can give anyone at anytime?

We've all had our brains stuck on the rewind button regarding a specfic situation or issue.  What if we made a conscious decision to "let that moment go" and live in the present?  The past is the past and the future isn't here.  The now is all that truly makes any difference in our lives. 

"Focusing on the present maintains happiness." LN

When we are stuck on a moment in time, replaying that moment over and over in our minds, it becomes meaningless.  What someone has said or done is unimportant in the present. Accept what has happened and release it, "Let It Go."

If you did or said something you are truly unhappy about make a decision to change your own behavior.  If you are unhappy with someone else's words or actions, change your perception. And than let it all go.  Forget It! 

You will FEEL happier.  You will BE better.

 

Make the decision to have less judgements on yourself, someone else, a situation or problem, introduce a positive understanding that there's always more going on than what is on the surface.

We are one piece of a big puzzle.

We always have a choice.  Do we choose to hold on to our past, good or bad, or do we choose to let the past go? 

Are we constantly waiting for our future to come while our present slips away?  Is our current life free of worry, are our thoughts positive? 

I have gotten stuck, but I remind myself, don't get stuck, it's not going to change what happened.

Freeing our mind is beautiful, and so relaxing.  Yoga is a wonderful practice to find that freedom, be still, be present, believe. (be live)

When a moment of judgement sneaks in, Let It Go.  The moment you feel unworthy of love, Let It Go. The moment you think anything negative, Let It go.  Those thoughts are only manifestactions in our minds.

With consistency, our inner voice will become conditioned and momentum will build.  The switch will flip, and there will be light.  You will be genuinely happy, and an easy feeling of contentment will embrace you.  Laughter and smiles will find you and you will feel truly alive. 

Have Faith and Let It Go.  Let It ALL Go. 

"BELIEF CLINGS, BUT FAITH LET'S GO" The Wisdom of Insecurity, Alan Watts

Mom's Day!

A mom's love is unique.  There's a special bond between a mother and her children that can't be compared to anything else. 

However, as a mother, we tend to feel exhausted, as our energy gets sucked dry on a daily basis giving of ourselves as we are pulled in multiple directions.

Mothers love their children and want to fulfill their every need, but when does saying, "Yes" to ourselves sound better than anything else? Saying, "Yes!", without one ounce of guilt in doing so.

  

This is why Mother's Day was invented.  The day mom is allowed to take back and be spoiled.  The day mom can sit with her feet up, be pampered, get extra love and kisses and it's alway's okay.  Mom is allowed to take care of mom.

We love our moms and appreciate all that they do, especially as we get older and make the transition from child to parent.  We finally understand all their hard work and sacrifices our moms made for us. 

Maybe everyday should be Mother's day. Breakfast in bed, extra hugs, more downtime and less doing for others.  What if all moms, everywhere, went for massages, everyday, got pedicures and didn't worry about feeding, bathing or finding time for their kids.  What if? 

Well, of course, that would make for total chaos: babies would cry, children would be sad, no snuggles or being tucked in.  Kids would be foraging for food in the pantry.  Who would shop for that food?  Maybe dad would pick up cookies, chips and beef Jerky. 

As a mom we are needed to play our important role.  We must play that role with pride.  We may not always get it 100% right, but last I checked, mismatched socks and quick and easy dinners were not against any rule book. 

Motherhood has no rules.  There are no rights and wrongs.  I often joke, that I am a "B" mom.  I may not get those Birthday cupcakes to school on the very first day after my son's Birthday, I may be hustling at a school event, and not spend adequate time with my boys, I may slide on bedtime, and eat in front of the TV when dad is not home. 

I love making exceptions to those so called rules. 

I also, know my kids will learn volumes from my actions.  Life is not black and white, we can go with the flow, we can laugh at our mistakes and not be so serious, we can fix what gets broke and we are not perfect.... but we can still be lovable, and we are always worthy of being cared for.  

But, my most important memory, I want my kids to have, is that they felt loved, and loved unconditionally.  I always want them to feel secure in who they are through my love for their individual spirits.

I tell them everyday and often how much they are loved. I try to remember not to let go first when they hug me, no matter how long they need that hug.  It gets hard at daycare drop off, but sometimes as little guys they need that hug more than we know.

Our hugs mean more than words.

To our moms now and then.  Our love is passed down through generations, in our actions and our words and with our warm, loving hearts.  It's contagious, especially through those extra long hugs!!  

Pushing Beyond Our Limits

A group of ladies gathered at "Painting with A Twist" one Sunday and painted a beautful beach scene.  Each, in their own way, found their creative side, they dipped their paint brush in paint and colored a pure white canvas. 

At the end of the 3 hour paint session they all had created somethng beautful which began from within.  We all had our moments of weakness when one paint stoke didn't feel right, or a cloud wasn't what we thought it should look like, yet once the paint hit the canvas and we stepped back and reviewed what we had done, we realized, and started to see the perfection in it all.  

The not so great stuff, was exactly as it needed to be.  The aspects of the painting we felt good about, were better than we had thought. The beauty within each woman shined in their paintings.  We did it!  We painted a work of art and we did it as an experience together, laughing and struggling through the difficult moments.

Painting pushes people out of their comfort zone.  But, yet, there is an unmistakable rush when we do uncomforable things.  It helps stretch our boundaries. 

Our paint class aligns with the bigger picture of life.  There is always beauty and perfection in the things we perceive to be imperfect chaos.  The days that do not seem fulfilling, often contain opportunities for goodness and enlightenment. Our positive vibrations are always willing to shine when they are not discounted by negative vibrations. 

When life does not feel good, pushing through that particular stoke of life, alleviates the uneasiness and clarity quickly follows.  Our difficult choices suddenly become easier to make, because our natural instincts take over.  Our boundaries are re-established. 

There are days I wake up thinking my day will go one way, and I may feel uneasy about what lies ahead.  I embrace those feelings and allow the day to  unfold naturally.   When my head and heart are conflicted, I naturally allow my heart's desires to lead the way and my uneasiness disapaetes.  

That gut feeling people speak of is actually our heart sinking.  It's a sign that our actions are not aligned with our hearts true intent.  

When we continue to discount our hearts desires, we are not caring for ourselves, we become sad and soon after depressed.  It snowballs into a cycle of despair.   However, when we follow our intended path, listening to our inner voice, we trust ourselves with care and joys kicks in.  It's a myriad of good feelings, there is love and there is easiness. 

The picture is painted and we can step back and see the perfection life truly has to offer, from inside ourselves to the current circumstances of our life.  Is there something you'd like to change?  Than make the change.  Are there things you would like to enhance? Than make those choices to enhance your life.  Your good intentions are the first step to picking up the brush and painting a beautiful life. 

And once you have painted it, you can white wash it and start all over again.   How miraculous is that? 

                                When we continue to create we are choosing our freedom.